Cassy & Ryan

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Together: 3.5 yrs
Cities: San Francisco, CA/Detroit, MI

HOW WE FIRST MET

Cassy’s Version: I was obsessing over his roommate. I had just returned from a college study abroad program and was going to see the guy I had been casually seeing before I left. This was a very stressful moment, as I had not seen him since the summer, I had spent all semester pining for him and he was quasi-dating another girl (from whom I was planning to steal him back). So we are at his house and I am trying to keep my newly acquired European cool when his roommate (Ryan) walks down the stairs. I remember thinking he was extremely good looking, but I was way too into my Summer Boy to think much of him. Alas, our first meeting consisted of me listening to him talk about his Engineering classes (and pretending to be extremely interested) in order to piss off Summer Boy. To this day he says that one of the first things that struck him about me was that I was so genuinely interested in his studies and that he had finally met a girl who he could talk to about them. So maybe we should edit that whole “pretending to be extremely interested” part out?

Ryan’s Version: Our first meeting was pretty casual and far from any fairy tale sweep me off her feet story because Cassy was all about my roommate, Gabe. It was early January and she had just returned from a semester abroad in Italy and had come over to our house to see Gabe. I remember coming down stairs to put on my boots before class and she was sitting with her legs thrown over the arm rest of the chair looking extremely sexy. Gabe introduced me and we chatted for a few minutes while I was lacing up. I remember talking about the fact that I was heading off to my Tissue Engineering class and her asking me some questions about it. I walked off to class thinking, “Wow, that girl was HOT and she actually seemed interested in my engi-nerd classes.” Needless to say when I got home later that day I asked Gabe, “WHO WAS THAT GIRL?!”

First Date

Cassy’s Version: Our first date was a greasy breakfast place in Ann Arbor called the Fleetwood Diner. The night before, Summer Boy had ditched me for New Girl and Ryan had just (literally – just, as I found out that morning) broken up with his girlfriend of 6 years. So, the house special, Hippie Hash, as a follow up to depressed/rebound sex seemed like a win-win. We joke that our relationship started in reverse - we slept together, then he took me out to eat, then he asked for my phone number. Who else misses college?

Ryan’s Version: That’s an interesting story…so I didn’t learn until after our first meeting that Cassy and Gabe went to high school together and that they had a little something going on before Cassy went off to Italy. This is total news to me as Gabe had been dating a girl since school started and said nothing about Cassy. Anyway, we (all my roommates, Cassy, and Gabe’s girl) are all somehow together at this co-op party over MLK weekend and I have been staring at Cassy all night. She probably didn’t even notice since her attention was completely fixated on Gabe. Eventually, Gabe basically told me to go for it and he left the party with his girlfriend. I immediately swooped in and started flirting with Cassy, who had no problem flirting right back. One thing led to another and I woke up next to her the following morning. To finally answer the direct question, we ended up grabbing some breakfast at this classic Ann Arbor greasy spoon hole-in-the-wall called the Fleetwood Diner (if you are ever in AA go there and get the hippie hash - feta cheese makes everything better). So our first date wasn’t until AFTER our first sleepover and BEFORE I got her phone number (don’t worry, I got it after breakfast).

Our Song

Cassy’s Version: We have a few, but I think we would both agree that Howie Day’s “Collide” is probably the most prominent one. There’s a line in it: “Out of the doubt that fills my mind/I somehow find/You and I collide”.. the idea being that neither of us was planning on falling so hard for the other when we did.

Ryan’s Version: I would have to say Howie Day’s “Collide.” It was playing on the radio all the time during the summer of 2005, when Cassy and I seriously started dating, and it always made me think of Cassy. There are a few lines that hit home…”Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find, you and I collide” is one of them. I had broken up with my girlfriend of 5+ years in January and had lost a little faith in love so I wasn’t expecting to stumble upon my soulmate so quickly. Another line…”A light shining through, you’re barely waking, and I’m tangled up in you” reminds me of one of my favorite things - waking up next to Cassy and feeling lucky to have her in my life.

Challenges

Cassy’s Version: For the last two years or so, we have been doing this whole “love” thing long distance. I don’t recommend it to anyone, except to say that it really does show you whether or not you are in it to win it. And it give us a chance to get creative. When you don’t have that physical proximity, you really need to be imaginative and open to trying new ways of feeling close to one another. We tried talking via web cam for a while, to get that “real time” feel, but I kept forgetting he could see me and would walk away from the computer to do stuff. Needless to say, that didn’t last too long.

Ryan’s Version: Without a doubt, the distance. I moved to Seattle in January 2007 and then to San Francisco in October 2008 while Cassy has been living in metro Detroit since finishing the Appalachian Trail in September 2006. Sometimes the phone can get frustrating yet its our major source of communication. When we go two months without seeing each other there are times when its hard to feel really connected to her. Getting creative certainly helps keep the flame burning. Cassy is usually better with the creativity stuff than me though…

When did you realize they were “The One?”

Cassy’s Version: Right after college I thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail, a 6-month adventure from Georgia to Maine; Ryan hiked with me for about 6 weeks at the beginning. After he left he wrote me a letter every day. I would get to a town to resupply food and there waiting at the post office would be a bundle of letters from Ryan. It was absolutely the most romantic thing. I know that Ryan is The One because although our lives haven’t always moved in the same physical direction, our hearts are always on the same page.

Ryan’s Version: Well, hiking the Appalachian Trail together for 6wks and still wanting the other at our side at the end of it was certainly a good sign. By the way, how many girls do you know that hiked 2,175 miles from Georgia to Maine in 5 months? I can’t put my finger on one thing that makes me know that she’s The One. Its more of a feeling that I have when I am with her…one that I’ve never felt with anyone else. You can call it cheesy but its true…

Anything Else?

Cassy’s Version: Our relationship’s backwards start was only the first of many out-of-the-ordinary experiences we’ve shared. When we first started the long distance thing, we wrongly presumed that we needed to jam-pack as many memories as we could into a weekend trip, making up for lost time if you will. These trips often proved more problematic than anything else. Perfect example - skiing on Mt. Hood, a seemingly romantic winter getaway until it was Day Three and I had yet to poo. Thanks, Ry, for going out to get that Herbal Laxative Tea. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. We’ve toned it down a bit since then, realizing that all we needed (and really all we wanted) was each other. After two years in a cross-country long-distance relationship I am looking forward to finally moving to San Fran this summer. Of course, it is going to be a bit strange at first. How do I explain, “Sorry, Ry, I just want to stay in tonight, paint my toenails and watch Reba.” Any pointers are greatly appreciated, but something tells me we’ll work it out.

Ryan’s Version: You watch Reba?! Wow…